Holy Cow, I’m a Mom!

May 8, 2007

I know that may sound obvious, especially as the mother of a six month old. But as we move towards mother’s day, my thoughts have been on those earlier in the line — my mom, my grandma — and those I’ve watched take on motherhood more recently. It never occurred to me that I am one of the moms being honored this Sunday.  noe1

Let me explain. Noemi de Leon Huber is my daughter and I am her mother (that’s us together in Guatemala on the right). Only I live in California and she lives in Guatemala City with her (wonderful!) foster family. We’re in the no-man’s land of the adoption process where we’re just waiting for the call saying “go and get her!” So yes, we have a car seat. Yes, we have her room all set up. Yes, we’ve discussed diapers (we’re going with gdiapers) and food (I’m cooking my own . . . I’m a recipe developer for cripes sake!). But no, we don’t yet hear Noe’s little coos when she wakes up in the morning (ugh my heart hurts as I write this), I can’t yet watch her make google eyes at her daddy and I can’t feel the puffs of her breath against my neck as she sleeps.

This weekend, we were at a friend’s house for a birthday celebration and one of the couples had an adorable seven month old boy named Noah. Hovering would be the polite term to describe what Chris and I did all night. Stalking might be more appropriate though ;-). But as we listened to them talk about how he’s been crawling for months and is pushing through his third tooth, I felt this clenching in my stomach — is my daughter crawling already? Did I miss her first tooth? Seeing Noah with his parents drove home just how many details we’re missing day by day with Noe, and that hurts no matter how irrelevant those details will be five years from now.

So this Sunday, I’m going to raise a toast to me. My day to day world may not revolve around Noe yet. But my heart does.




2 Responses to “Holy Cow, I’m a Mom!”

  1. Janis Milham Says:

    Lia you got it. Motherhood is exhilirating and also heart breaking. I too, as we approach Mother’s Day, think about all the women that came before us. Celebrating Mother’s one day a year seems so strange to me. We should toast each other more regularly. As my daughter, Kate, so aptly states…..”what about Kids Day?” At which point I tell her Kids Day is 365 days a year! I will raise a glass in special celebration to you, Lia, this Mother’s day as you are embarking on the greatest journey ever….becoming a mother.

  2. lia Says:

    Thank you Janis. You were one of the ones on my heart as I wrote this. Cheers — and happy mother’s day — to YOU!

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